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I’m 28, female, heterosexual, and have never had sex. For 12 years, my best friend has been a guy, but I’ve never felt any desire to take things further. I’ve never dated anyone because I am very shy. My mother seems unable to understand why we are not dating or to accept that a man and a woman can simply be friends. She has told me to either date him or stop being friends with him, because she thinks having him around convinces people that I’m taken.

After speaking to him about it, he confessed that he never made any kind of move because I never showed any interest. He knows I want to one day marry and have kids and he doesn’t want any of that. I feel like an a*s for always assuming he just wasn’t interested in me but it doesn’t make thinking about anything sexual any easier.
To stop my mother from talking about him, I told her about a friend who lives across the country with whom I became intimate last time he was here, but didn’t have sex with. He is coming here for a holiday in two weeks and my mother is putting pressure on me to stop being afraid and have sex with him. I’m not ashamed of being 28 and a vírgin, but I’m getting the impression my mum is. Even if I do have sex, I’m not comfortable telling my mother it happened, but I don’t want her constantly questioning me.

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